16 Sep Why you attract Narcissists and how to protect yourself
If you are an ‘Empath’, you are more likely to attract narcissists.
If you are a ‘Giver’, you will attract such people towards you.
If you are ‘Unaware’ of your worth you will attract narcissists.
Let’s see why?
Why Empaths?
Empaths are the overtly compassionate people, who often fail to differentiate between drama and sincerity. They trust people easily. They are moved to tears at the slightest trigger. They falsely believe they are not being true to their conscience and they feel guilty if they turn off people who are ‘seeking their help’. This trait is what the narcissists take advantage of.
Why Givers?
All Empaths are Givers. But all Givers are not necessarily Empaths. Unlike Empaths, most Givers cultivate the habit of giving because they get carried away by compliments. Empaths are more grounded, Givers need not be. Givers ‘help’ to be in the good books, for attention. They do things to please people. They are people pleasers. This takes us to the next reason why you attract narcissists.
Why those who are UNAWARE of their worth?
People pleasers are unaware of their worth. They do NOT value themselves. No matter how accomplished they are, no matter how talented, creative, successful they are, they believe they are ‘LESS’ than some others. They are in awe of Narcissists’ confidence, wit and charm. They secretly want to be like them. They cannot, therefore, say ‘no’ to narcissists.
How to protect yourself from Narcissists?
There are two ways to protect yourself.
One: Take practical steps
Two: Work on yourself
The 5 Practical Steps…
Set clear boundaries
Do not entertain them, if you do not FEEL like it. Be polite but sterna and stick to your decision. Initially, you may have to resort to lying, you have other priorities. And that’s okay! Learn to say ‘No’. Once you let them infringe into your zone they will do it often little by little, and you will not notice how they overpower you.
Stop tolerating abusers in your life
Especially in relationships. Do not try finding excuses to their abusive behaviour and give them another chance. Remember you are doing it at the cost of your emotional wellbeing.
For instance, you may attribute your abusive partner’s behaviour to work stress and tolerate the person ill-treating you. No!
Be aware of red flags
Narcissists will tug at your heartstrings with their sagas and their praise for you. Listen up. Are you being the dumping ground for them? Are you getting carried away by their words?
Do not let yourself be carried away
Now, narcissists have this innate quality of promising you ‘the moon’. Beware! Be it personal or professional ties. When they dangle an ultra successful business venture or promise you a rosy future together, and you can see clearly the person has no idea how to move from point A to point B. STOP. Do not be flattered by them for having ‘chosen’ you and ‘trusted’ you.
Trust your instincts
Trust your body. Trust your instincts, your gut feelings. It is the Universe nudging you. Logic may fail you, but your body will never. Be aware how you FEEL when you are with such people.
The 1 best way to work on yourself
Start valuing yourself
List out all the reasons why you dislike or hate a person. For instance: They may have no time for you; they do not support you; they are bossing over…et al. Then list against each one, how you reacted and why you reacted so.
You will see the fault lies in You. You either knew you were taken for a ride but played along. Or you didn’t want to offend them. You didn’t have the courage to tell them off, you believed they were better than you…etc.
The underlying root cause for all your reasons is because you DO NOT LOVE yourself enough. Start loving yourself.
Believe you are the best version of the Creator. And where ever you are in life at present, that is the right spot to be in now, so that you can get to where ever it is that you want to be.
Start making yourself your priority NOW! And you will keep narcissists at bay!
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About the author
Nisha Sanjeev, is a author of two books, who traded 20 years of journalism to live her passion of helping others create the life they desire. When professional success failed to inspire her, convinced that there must be more to life than that, Nisha set out on her self-discovery in 2010. She unleashed her true identity following an arduous personal journey to overcome timidity and lack of self-worth. Years of studying and mentoring by masters have enabled her to have a distinctive outlook to life. She uses this distinctive view to help others.
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