To parents, with love!

To parents, with love!

January 20, 2015

Why don’t some parents treat their adult children as ADULTS?
The more old they grow the more paranoid they become on how their adult children conduct themselves and fare in life.
Are you saving enough? When is the last you invested in property? The interest rates are slipping…our neighbour’s son bought an apartment there, that aunt’s daughter is building a house in the suburbs, your cousin owns three 4-wheelers… It’s a crore for a medical seat…what extra coaching are you providing your kids…times have changed…
I belong to the ‘puppy generation’ for whom compromising to see parents happy is second nature. Somewhere in the growing up years, we mistook respect for obedience just as our parents mistook possessiveness for love. They loved us, so they decided for us. And because we respected them we obeyed. And yes, we were ‘cultured’ so we never disputed. As if bottled specimens!      
The puppies are ever in gratitude that they are given the opportunity to walk this land…but they would love to chew at the proverbial leash!

It’s got nothing to do with love. It’s pure, simple respect and the right to live. If we decide to choose our partner, it’s new love, not old love lost. If we let our kids decide with whom they hang out with, it’s not rubbishing the culture you taught us, rather it’s respecting our kids. If we decide to invest in someplace away from home, it’s not tough love, it’s our freedom. If we ignore hung-up kin, it’s not insolence rather self-respect...
Understood some seniors’ love and fear for their children. They would definitely not want the hardships they endured to replay. Salutes for the affection! Allow the youngsters to repay.

Chill. Relax. Your kids are grown up to take care of themselves and you, too. Just let go and enjoy doing all that you didn’t have time and funds for. You all deserve it – a life where you just put your feet up and smell the roses. 

If you believe in your upbringing, trust your children to fare well in life. And if you haven’t, sorry, it’s late to make an attempt!! And it’s absolutely fine.
What worries me is some of the puppy generation refuse to see they are still inside the bottle. 

My daughter one day returned from school with a packet stapled across. She dutifully handed over the package to me saying, ‘Megha’s mom asked me to give this to you and not to open it.”

Little did she realise it was the book ‘Divergent’, which she had given her classmate to read. The book was returned because the child’s mom found it ‘atrocious – a book unfit for 12-year olds’!  
While my girl is still lost as to why the book was returned thus, I pitied her classmate’s mother.
Gen Next are no puppies woman! Breathe out!


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Nisha Sanjeev


    January 25, 2015

    Quite an interesting point, you make, Nisha. It's true I suppose – not trusting our kids enough probably comes down to the way we think we bring up the kids. Yes, we guide them to an extend, but yes, we also need to trust in some of their decisions. Puppy generation – amused by that word. Interesting post. Enjoyed reading it

  • Sheethal Susan Jacob
    January 25, 2015

    I like your point. Once I believed in the obey all that your parents say… no matter whether you like it or not. But now, I am the rebel one. 😀

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    January 26, 2015

    Thank You Sid and Sheetal…

  • Nabanita
    January 26, 2015

    True Nisha…we shouldn't underestimate the children of today…The equations have changed, in fact times have changed and I feel it's for the better

  • elly stornebrink
    January 26, 2015

    Interesting as I have never heard of the "puppy generation" before. 😉 It is true though, that no matter how old you are, you are and will still be 'children' to your parents no matter their age. I think it's partly their love and concern for your welfare as they are worried about what will happen to you once they leave this earth plane – understandable – and yet, eventually we will have to pull up our socks if need be! 😉 <3

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    January 26, 2015

    Thanks Nabitha, Elly…

  • Aditi
    January 26, 2015

    Parenting should not be "do as I say" I think. It should be "that's what I would like you to do, what do you think" Parents concern is understandable but they should also let their children grow and have a mind if their own!

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    January 27, 2015

    Thanks Aditi

  • Rachna
    January 29, 2015

    Yes, this gets my goat too. Luckily my parents always trusted my judgment and I hope I continue to do the same with my children.

  • Debbie D.
    February 2, 2015

    I've never heard the term "puppy generation" before, but that's probably because I'm a rebellious "Baby Boomer". LOL As a youngster, my mother was always trying to run my life, but I ignored her and did my own thing. It turned out pretty well. ☺ You are so right to tell parents to relax and let their children make their own decisions.

  • Red Handed
    February 5, 2015

    BANG ON. Gen now have a voice and a mind of their own. We must not spoon feed everything like they used to in yesteryears!