Date: August 1, 2012
Scene: Morning greetings
Characters: The B and Me
B: How are you Nisha?
Me: I’m good B
B: Others should be saying that about you.
Me: How can others say? And how should it matter what others say.
B: That’s an arrogant statement, Nisha!
B walked away and I continued with my editing.
But…the rest of that day I pondered on what made him assume I’m “arrogant”.
Old habits die hard, I concluded. And that holds true to both of us or anyone on the surface of this
Let me clarify my stand first.
People around me were used to me sulking, cribbing and complaining about pretty much anything during work hours (home front I’ll write about another time).
My replies to ‘How are you’ were always an ‘OK’, ‘Not Bad’, Pulling Along’, and if I muttered “Fine” it was always akin to a yawn ‘Faaine’!
So how could I blame the person – who is disciplined in asking me this question every single day before he sets about his scheduled tasks and is accustomed to hearing only lethargic, unenthusiastic and pessimistic replies – for reacting thus?
The next day at 8 am in the morning, I waited for B’s usual round. He ignored me. I wasn’t surprised. For two reasons – One: That’s his way of telling ‘offenders’ he is displeased with them. Two: One’s wellbeing does prick others.
The next two days happened to be my weekend.
The following morning, I was again asked. But this time the query was structured differently. Umm…the bruise had definitely not healed.
“Nishaaa, are you good today?”
“Great B,” I replied.
“Are you sure?”, B asked.
I simply smiled.
Three days were sufficient for me to ruminate on my mentors’ words and cement my decision. Wanna change yourself for the better? Wanna have that enviable glow on your countenance? Wanna empower yourself and achieve your dreams? The first step is to feel good about yourself. No matter how sick you are; how ugly you look; or how behind on any coveted ladder you may be…the first step is to be grateful for being alive. And begin saying good things about yourself. What better way that replying you are fantastic and great when asked “How are you?’
Once you repeatedly say you are good, you inevitably begin feeling it, and then it becomes easier to approve of yourself and start loving the self. Once you start loving yourself, it is only natural you will begin working on your flaws and weaknesses and then your dreams will no longer remain that. They become your aims and soon a reality.
So friends, I was challenged on my first step. I remember reading my favourite writer’s words – when you decide to change it is only natural for people close to you to pull you down because they fear to leave their comfort zone. Fret not. Carry on. Those prepared to accompany you will come along. Others can always join you in their own time and space.
Haven’t we heard statements such as “Oh! after he got that promotion, he doesn’t like our company anymore.” “After his business took off (add anything you want here) he started ignoring us. Or “After her European tour, she thinks we are low class”. Or like I was told, “You wrote one book and you think you know it all. Don’t get cocky!”
Those who are determined to empower themselves will soon find nothing in common with naggers and negators. Period. They’ll move on and find new friends on their way – those who exude the same vibes, understand them and share their dreams.