I’ve decided to get off my arse

I’ve decided to get off my arse

So am I. Only as I can be.

Hard on the outer, soft in the inner and soppy in between, with the crust almost shedding in indignation as the trespassers slither their way deeper within. They dodge me with menace with every attempt I make to aim at their horns.

Yes, they have a pair and some even pairs – sharp, pointed and dangerously positioned to pierce through me. And lo! there I’m lost. Guess, that’s why people ask me to shut up. Those near ignore me and those afar thank their stars and others sent me notes with asterisks, which I take time to count and deduce what they mean. Crazy me!

But for all the brain cells in me, [yes, I do have them, too] I cannot figure to which part of me they want to cause harm to. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual…am I missing any al? Okay, et al…In case I discover some by the end of this.

If at all I get to the end, that is. My ToDo list is cracking my wrist and stiffening my shoulders. But surprisingly it’s also aching my back, which I thought had long ago parted ways with me. Oh my, sweet arse, thank you for bearing me all these years!

There I hear! Gedupp!

This is the sound I am tired of hearing. Loud most times, feeble at times. From where, is what I fear. May be those creepers inside me are barking for not praising them enough! How can I? All they do at all times is stand on their heads and gnaw my insides, asking me to get up.

What do they know of my work load? I have to take care of my family, friends, community, even foes. I have to work to keep my mom happy, dad satisfied, brother smiling, and those cousins’ egos well-fed. I have work at my desk, on my colleagues’ mind and in my boss’s plans. I have work at home, in the kitchen sink, at the study table, in the living room and even bedroom.

But today, I used the trick I learnt at my workplace – Speak more. Work less. I took time to speak to the trespassers yelling at me from within. I tricked them by describing the colourful world outside and persuaded them into stepping out. “Don’t be holed up inside a woman. The world outside is beautiful”, I sang to them.

And they ran away…stupid fellows.

Now, let me get up. As in GET UP. And fill my insides with what I love to hear, with deeds that will radiate into hues that I love to see myself in.

It already feels nice. I feel great. Actually, those fellows were not illegally occupying my insides, yeah. I had allowed them in. Ah! There I go. It was me trespassing on my poor dumb and mute arse all these years.  How long? No guesses, please. I’m forever young… 32 at heart, 24 in mind and 36 in spirit!

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