Haven’t you heard this? ‘Conquer your fears’, ‘Confront your fears’; ‘Do one thing every day that scares you’; ‘Take your fears head on’…
Have you asked yourself why you need to do so?
Of course, yes! isn’t it? But did you know there is a way to ‘attack’ your fears if you wish you use that to transform yourself.
Point Number 1# is to identify what your REAL fear is. It is NOT the obvious one that you easily identify. It takes some nerve to acknowledge the REAL fear.
Point Number 2# is to build courage.
While it is endearing to be inspired by empowering quotes, it is absolutely anarchic to blindly implement them without checking on your residual courage.
Courage is the direct byproduct of confidence. So first build upon your confidence. And the easiest way to boost your confidence is to focus on what you are good at – your strengths.
A decade back, I shuddered and shivered at the mere thought of speaking to two people at a time. My so-called weakness was not only brought to my notice but highlighted at the most inopportune of occasions by my near and dear ones.
The most embarrassing of situations was at a get-together, when one of my family friends took it upon herself to ‘help’ me. As the lunch was being served, and we waited for our turn, she announced, “Please pass me another plate. It is for Nisha. She will starve but never ask.”
I thought, ‘I’m not hopeless as she thinks. I sure can fend for myself.’ But I could not have blamed her as that was the image my silence at public gatherings portrayed.
I decided to confront my fear at that moment. I made a conscious effort to start a conversation, I attempted contributing to group discussions at my workplace… But all I did was fumble and mumble. Either I got the pronunciations wrong, or my timing of reply was inappropriate, or I was never acknowledged. My confidence hit the nadir. I was a miserable bundle of nerves.
So I was back to doing what I always did during such times. Recoiled myself. Shut myself up and poured out my frustrations and emotions in my diary.
Interestingly, I was never afraid of sharing my written words. So I started letting my words be ‘heard’. Emailed them to my friends and colleagues.
Slowly, the reception to my ‘silent words’ grew. My readers increased. That made me write more and go public. I started my blog. That was the turning point. My confidence lifted.
We are all creatures longing for acceptance. When we get that, we change for the better.
I then decided it was high time I learnt to speak loud and clear, too. I took professional help. Joined Toastmasters International. Today, I can comfortably address a packed hall.
So, the crux lies is NOT confronting your fears first, but in honing your strengths first.
Focus on your strengths. That will help build your reservoir of confidence.
Confidence fuels courage, which in turn will help you burn off your fears.
Instead if you choose to only concentrate on your fears, you will drive yourself crazy, eroding your confidence and affecting your self-esteem, too. And that is an unpleasant situation to be in.
So the ONE mistake to avoid when you decide to conquer your fears is to tackle it head-on! Chip at it bit by bit! Build your mettle before you take it by the horns.
So what did I learn from this process of tackling my fear? It led me to Point Number 1#. I identified my REAL Fear. The feeling that I was not enough. The feeling that I did not measure up…I was less than…And it all boiled down to self-worth. It is only when I tackled that could I focus on honing my strength [of writing] and build my confidence, and finally, overcome my fear of speaking.
You can use this 2-step process to tackle any fear you have. 1) Identify you REAL fear 2) Use your strength to build courage to overcome that fear.
Grab your chance NOW! Subscribe to the Newsletter on my website and you will receive a FREE tutorial on identifying your fears that is stopping you from success. Also in there is a quick and easy method to overcome your fears to tackle that immediate task you are faced with.
About the author
Nisha Sanjeev, is a Transformation Strategist specializing in Practical Spirituality. She brings her real world experience of being a Journalist for over 20 years and her learnings from Spiritual Masters to her signature courses. Nisha is on a mission to help transform people, especially women, to love and respect themselves and create the life of freedom.
She is the author of 2 books. First book ‘Anamica’ details how an Indian girl goes into the verge of depression by sacrificing her self-worth and desires to live for others.
‘Step Out ‘n’ Step It Up’details how one can tap into their Inner Power to create the life they so desire.