Tradition, culture, values, beliefs, faith, empowerment, education, vocation, passion… name it, we guide our kids the best way we can in all ways we can at all times we can until we ever can. I know of mamas and papas who are so obsessed with parenthood that honorary doctorates would fall short for their priceless research on offspring rearing. From the best curriculums, the best teaching methods, the best schools in towns, the best extra-curricular activities that can put the kids directly on that spaceship…they know the best.
Here are some comments of such ethically and morally conscious parents I have been privy to.
“Oh! **** ***school. I don’t like that. Have you seen their uniform? You just need to look at the way those students walk.”
“I’ll never look at *****. Do you know they hire housewives as teachers there?”
‘Children should settle abroad. They have no future in India.’
Interestingly, these are parents extraordinaire who will wash down culture, manners, ethics and morals down their kids’ esophagus with their daily Bournvita. Check these out…
“I punish my son, if he doesn’t do his bed every morning before going to school.”
“I call my neighbour’s kids every weekend to play with my daughter. It’s important she learns to share her toys and space.”
“I ensure my girl washes her undergarments herself.”
“I reward my son with an ice-cream every Sunday, if he keeps his toys in place through the week.”
Now, these mamas and papasafter disciplining their wards and planning for their future, when they turn up at workplaces, play brooders. Place a clutch of eggs under them and rest assured your tea-time sandwich is taken care of.
The office boy should collect the print-outs from the printer. ‘That’s his job’, they remind you and yell, ‘where the hell is that idiot!’
He should offer coffee, guessing their sugar swings, at regular intervals without being told. That’s his job. ‘How many years, you’ve been giving me coffee. You still can’t get it right!’
The cleaner should wash their lipstick-kissed or cigarette-smelling cups after their last sip. That’s his job. Otherwise, the stained cups will accumulate beside their keyboard for days!
If newcomers commit an error, they are corrected loudly and clearly. ‘We also started like this!’
If juniors show enthusiasm, then they are passively bullied. ‘He needs to be shown his place now, else tomorrow he’ll shit on our scalp!’
Once they are done with disciplining co-workers they get down to executing their own future plans…They will block all calendar holidays in advance and if an emergency befalls any colleague during their pre-planned holiday, they will fall ill with a contagious disease!
And, yes, when they sense work pressure increasing or deadlines nearing, their kids would be performing in a surprise orchestra and they would have to be present at school right away…’to boost their morale’!