Connect: Let us begin at home

Connect: Let us begin at home


September 10, 2014
On World Suicide Prevention Day, I share a story…So as to protect the privacy of those involved, I am not mentioning names or location, nor am I using any adjectives [so as not to judge the characters involved. Honestly, this one is going to be real tough]

Our world is our immediate family, 

Let’s pledge today to connect with our own!

A lawyer mother, a doctor father and their three beautiful daughters were the envy of the South Indian community. The oldest was born in the early 1960s, the second in late 60s. The third child was born in 1975.
By the time the youngest entered Pre-degree [it was not called Plus-2 then in India], the eldest sister was a lawyer and the second one studying to be an engineer. She was required to become a doctor to complete the family profile. So she studied science.
In 1992, she was enrolled in a medical college in her home state. After three years, she was taken off college and sent to a medical college in another state because, “she couldn’t cope with the students”. People did find the excuse bizarre, but the parents were respectable senior members who ought not be counter-questioned. [I am under self-pledge not to judge, so I say no further].
By end-1999, the mother shifted base, along with her two servants. Bought a house there and pulled the girl off hostel, hired a retired professor to tutor her.
Two years thus passed. There were rumours [not confirmed], the girl had not cleared her first year yet. The mother returned home to prepare for their second daughter’s wedding. The girl was fetched a week before her sister’s wedding.
She was the perfect li’l sister of the bride, always by her side. A week after the wedding – the evening before she was to return to college – as the family was preparing dinner, she excused herself saying she would rather pack her stuff.
She went upstairs to her room and hanged with her dupatta on the ceiling fan.
Years later, the eldest  sibling told a relative, “If only mom was not adamant on making ***** her a doctor…!” she sighed.
I was reminded of this today, especially after reading the theme for this year “Suicide Prevention: One World Connected”
Our world is our immediate family, to begin with. Let’s pledge today to connect with our own.

Picture Coutesy: Morguefile

Look, don’t just see: Look at your mom, dad and siblings and notice changes in their gestures!

Listen, don’t just hear: Listen to what your mom, dad and siblings may say in the passing!
Feel, don’t resort to just lip-service: Feel their reason and don’t pile yours on them!
Our world begins within the four walls of our home. If we cannot understand and be there for the person closest to us how can we connect to the world outside?
Nisha Sanjeev

12 Comments

  • Cathy Graham
    September 10, 2014

    How terribly tragic about that poor girl taking her life! Such a sad situation. I liked how you emphasized the importance of family ties as our world does begin within the four walls of our home as you so wisely said. Great post for today's topic.

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    September 10, 2014

    What a terrible tragedy, but such a common occurrence too in our part of the world, isn't it, Nisha? 🙁
    You're so right. Connecting starts at home!
    Thank you for adding this powerful perspective to this effort, Nisha.

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    September 10, 2014

    Glad you connected with my opinion cathy. This is common in India…parents choosing children's career

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    September 10, 2014

    Indeed sad…robbing the life of a youngster for social status.

  • Red Handed
    September 10, 2014

    We need to be compassionate and understanding. You never know what someone is going through.

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    September 10, 2014

    Rightly said.

  • Nabanita
    September 11, 2014

    So true Nisha… I feel sad that an innocent life was lost…Sometimes too much pressure is put on children and we forget to just let them follow their heart..Of course parents only want what is best for their children but then after a certain age I think children can decide for themselves…

    Random Thoughts Naba…Connect To Save A Life…

  • Nisha Sanjeev
    September 11, 2014

    Thats the paradox Naba… parents best wishes turning a curse. Also social attitude. Atleast in India theres socalled status attached to certain professions… n all n sundry wants to run with the crowd.

  • proactiveindian.com
    September 11, 2014

    Yes, connecting should start at home. Sometimes, parents unknowingly add immense stress and misery to their children's lives. Parental guidance is OK, but finally, each person must be allowed to live his/her dream.

  • Usha Menon
    September 11, 2014

    Very sad and thoughtful post. It is indeed true that it is from home, that such ideas take form

  • Sheethal Susan Jacob
    September 11, 2014

    If only her mom would listen to her… 🙁 … such a loss…

  • Gabriela Acosta
    September 17, 2014

    Dear Nisha,

    I hope this message finds you well! My name is Gaby Acosta, and I'm the community manager for MSW@USC, USC's Masters in Social Work program.

    As a school of social work, we can't thank you enough for the wonderful work you are doing to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

    One question I had: I noticed there isn't a link to our USC website as the original source of the "100 Voices for Suicide Prevention" image, which is a logo to our suicide prevention campaign that you may also be interested in— do you think it would be possible to add that in (just in case someone is interested after reading the article)? This is the official image source: http://msw.usc.edu/category/100-voices-for-suicide-prevention/

    Your site is such a great resource, and I'd love for your readers to be able to find more information if they choose to. Thanks so much for your time!

    Best,
    Gaby
    MSW@USC Community Manager

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