A cleanliness freak for a wife

September 7, 2011
The wife relaxes her back after four gruelling hours. With a glass of ice-cold juice, she proudly takes in the interiors of her home…
Spick n span! Not a speck of dust on the ceiling even. Floor mopped to see her reflection. Toilet closets and sinks flushed and gleaming. Living area vacuumed and inviting. Kitchen oudourless and spotless. Vulnerably white drapery rods and curtain rings polished. Neat-to-fit wardrobes smelling Versace…when
The door bell rings. Who’s that, she sings to herself. Not expecting anyone at 11am. She rushes to change her wet and soiled pajamas before answering the bell.
Lo! Surprised, aren’t you? asks a beaming husband. Just thought of spending some time with you before the kiddo returns from school. He hugs her and  another surprise…Her favourite double chocolate delight with dark chocolate caramel topping.
Wow! Gimme a minute. A quick shower n am back. Feel so sticky.
She rushes to grab her clothes, spends a few minutes deciding what to wear and runs to the washroom…when she sees a tie on the bed.
Why is this tie here, she asks and hangs it on the holder.
Come fast, calls out the husband.
Hey, don’t sit there, I’ve just vacuumed the sofa.
Okay Madam, no problem.
No touching that. Let the remotes sit in place at least for an hour.
Alright, no worries.
Uh, uh, no taking the juice to the bedroom. I’ve just changed the spread.
Oof! why do you want to step into the balcony now? Dust will fly in!
Here I’m in already.
Now what’s it with you. Why do you simply walk up and down the hall? Have just mopped the floor.
Is this a home or a museum?
Why a home can’t be neat?
You’ll make a good curator.
Keeping the home neat is a disorder with me, yeah?
The ice-cream is melting!
All you men are alike.
The ice-cream is melting!
Then why the hell can’t you place it in the fridge?
You asked me not to walk up and down.
Yeah, now blame that on me, too, she freaks out.
The ice-cream is melting! he says, holding the cup out.

Give the damn thing here, she says, and pulls it off his hand…

Blop! a fat brown gooey mess on squeaky clean off-white marble floor.
You men can never maintain a neat home! Never. She storms off!
Nisha Sanjeev

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